Single Gentlemen In The Lifestyle
(On-Premise)
Remember that Cinsual
is a Membership Only Private Club. It’s a little different than most private
clubs. If you join a country club or even a condominium association, they
conduct a thorough background check before allowing you to become a member.
At Cinsual we understand that discretion and privacy is of utmost importance
so we forego initial character checks before allowing you to become a
member because your character is under continual scrutiny... That means
that just because you are a member today does not mean that you can be
a member tomorrow. If you misbehave, act badly or disruptive then your
membership will be immediately revoked and you will be permanently bared
from ever returning to the club again. So carefully read and understand
this Singles Guide To Successful Swinging.
Since Cinsual is
a Members Only Club, members that visit again and again know each other. This also means that
if you insult or offend one couple, word will spread very quickly to the
other members. By the same token if you are pleasant to a couple and they
enjoy their sexual encounters with you, they will be eager to introduce
you to other couples and ladies so that they can enjoy your talents. Just
like close friends love to recommend a good movie or a good restaurant
to their friends... Swingers like to recommend people with special sexual talents
to their friends!
So in the interest
in helping you get off on the right foot and not make any mistakes, please read and understand
this Singles Guide To Successful Swinging. If you don’t read this,
then if you screw up and get ignored, you only have yourself to blame.
You will have a great
time at Cinsual if you leave your "Macho attitude" at the door. Be yourself, be
real and socialize, ask a lady to dance and have fun. Maybe even ask her
husband for permission to ask his wife to dance. Talk to her husband and
be friends with him too, remember... If he doesn’t like you then you’re
not getting anywhere with her. Take your time and don’t be in a hurry.
If you do that you’ll have a much better time than the guy that puts
on a towel and starts cruising as soon as he walks in the door with a
macho horn-dog attitude.
One important thing
to understand about couples (and women) who are in this lifestyle, is that every
couple plays for a reason, their own personal enjoyment, not yours. Some
are interested only in other couples, some only in women, some do nothing,
they just like the atmosphere, and some are interested in playing with
single men, (this
is where you come in).
Also, single doesn’t
necessarily mean you are not married, it only means that you play as a single. Many
couples are open and seeking a second or even third man to join them.
The key is, which single man they choose, and from your viewpoint, how
do you get to be that guy!
First of all, understand
the Lifestyle. Read the couples section of this website to understand their viewpoint
better. Remember that for the most part, everyone you meet at a swing
club is there for the same reason you are. What you’ll find is that
swingers aren’t cheating on their spouse; they’re open about
what they do, and what they want to do. Don’t come to Cinsual’s
to fall in love, or think you’re going to sweep a lady off her feet,
and take her away from her husband, that will get you nowhere! Come to
have a good time and make some new friends.
All couples have
a set of rules by which they play, and vary little from those rules. Don’t try to
change them; it won’t work and you will appear pushy.
Be a gentleman &
a classy guy. Just because a woman likes sex, doesn’t mean she appreciates vulgar
language or suggestive remarks. Good manners and social skills are more
important here than anywhere else.
Dress nice, like
you’re going on a date. Because you ARE going on a
date! When you know you will be having an intimate encounter with your
mate, you take extra special care in your daily hygiene routine, right?
Well multiply that ten times for this lifestyle. On a first date you spend
extra time brushing & flossing your teeth, showering, shaving, doing
your hair and putting on your best cologne. Treat this like a first date,
get extra cleaned up and dress to impress. Leave your torn or baggy jeans
or shorts and T-shirt, tank top and baseball cap at home, you’re
not in high school any more so don’t dress like it.
The strictly enforced
dress code for Friday is:
No Printed T-Shirts
No Tank Tops.
No baseball hats.
No sandals.
Dress to impress... Because
isn’t that what you do when you go on a date? Dress like you’re
going to an upscale nightclub because you are.
Don’t assume
that just because you talk or dance with someone that they want to have sex with you.
And, don’t get too aggressive on the dance floor or at the bar, etc.
unless you get the clear message that it’s OK. If you get that message,
go with it, just don’t go overboard. You can even ask her, "Is
this okay"?
Leave the creative
pickup lines at home. The ladies at Cinsual’s are adults and are not into head-games.
They have heard every line in the book and they don’t work. The best
opening words in the world that work 99% of the time at Cinsual are, "Hello,
this is my first time here and I noticed you and wanted to introduce myself
to you, My name is Joe".
Introduce yourself
to both the husband and his wife. Never wait until he goes to get a drink and sneak
up to meet her without him present, or wait to ambush her as she heads
to the ladies room.
Also, don’t
pretend you don’t understand what kind of club you’re
in or what goes on here. As crazy as this sounds many guys say, "really?
A private lifestyle club? I didn’t know that, I just thought I’d
stop in and donate $100 to a private club in this unfamiliar neighborhood".
If you say that, you look like a complete idiot. Nobody stumbles into
a swing club and we all know why we’re here.
If you want a 100%
sure thing
then go to a whorehouse or call an escort. Cinsual’s is a social
club and the ladies here are upscale wives and girlfriends and above all,
they are ladies, not escorts. Treat them like ladies.
Don’t insult
a member’s intelligence with the famous lie, "my wife wanted me to come here first by myself
to check it out, so I’ll come back with her the next time and we
can all play together after you and I play now". No wife in the world
that is just beginning to explore this lifestyle, would send her husband
to a lifestyle club without her.
Don’t talk about
your wife or girlfriend, and how great she is or how beautiful she is - if she was, you wouldn’t
be here alone and she’d be with you. - and don’t tell a lady
how hot that woman across the room is. If that’s what you think,
tell it to the lady across the room.
Don’t ignore
the husband.
No matter how much his wife likes you, if the husband doesn’t like
you, you’re not getting anywhere with her. This doesn’t mean
you need to spend all night talking with him, but introduce yourself and
be cordial and play it by ear.
Don’t be shy
and withdrawn or be a wallflower. If you see a lady you’re interested in, be observant.
If she dances with guys other than her husband, or if she spends time
talking to single men, maybe she’d enjoy talking or dancing with
you as well. Don’t be afraid to approach her. Even in lifestyle clubs,
women generally don’t approach men. Just because a lady is with her
husband, doesn’t mean she’s not available or is unapproachable
- remember this is a lifestyle club. Don’t be afraid; just approach
politely and with class.
Never walk into Cinsual’s
and put on a towel as your first action - If you do, your chances of
getting lucky go to zero when you’re in a towel and the lady or couple
you’re approaching is dressed.
Cinsual’s is
a social club not a drinking club. Drink in moderation. You will find that alcohol and
erections don’t go very well together and if you have too much alcohol,
not only will you become stupid and belligerent but you won’t be
able to get an erection to save your life, and no one likes to be around
a flaccid slobbery drunk.
Don’t sneak
over onto the "Couples Only" side of the playroom pretending to be with a couple. If
they wanted to be approached by single men, then they would be on the
"Single Side" of the room. And if they wanted you to join then
on the "Couples Only" side then they would invite you. Cinsual
members have very good memories and a very tight network and don’t
soon forget intrusive behavior.
If a couple is engaged
in a threesome or foursome don’t try to sneak your hand in there to "grab
a piece" thinking that she will be unaware of who’s hand it
is. Although she might not be aware, her husband or the other partners
will be very aware and will have you quickly removed from the club. Ask before
touching anyone.
If someone tells
you "NO" that’s all there is to it. It’s not open for discussion. Don’t
ask them, "why not?" Or "are you sure, I’m the greatest
lover in the world?" They are busy playing and are not interested
in you joining them no matter how great of a lover you might be.
Do Not come to Cinsual’s
with a group of your buddies. Yes it’s true that many ladies enjoy multiple
male partners and many enjoy a "gang-bang" but they don’t
need you to provide the "gang". If you only feel comfortable
coming to Cinsual’s with a group of your friends, then go back to
high school because Cinsual’s is for grown-ups. This is not a double
date, or an activity for you to bring your buddies with you. Experience
has shown that guys coming with their buddies tend to behave differently
and more aggressively trying to show off for their friends. More
than two single men arriving together will not be admitted.
All in all, it’s
real simple; be a gentleman, be classy, be friendly, and treat people well. Everyone has a
much better evening if the ladies have a fun time, and if they do, then
you’ve got a great chance at having a really fun time with them.
Appropriate
Behavior For Joining A Couple
A true gentleman
& classy guy in the swinging lifestyle is non-threatening to the male spouse’s
virility...He’s happy to be sharing in the encounter and doesn’t
try to monopolize it... He knows his place in the bedroom and out...He
is also a friend of BOTH spouses, yet slightly closer to the male.
In
A Nutshell... Be A Classy Guy!
1) Always be polite
2) Never assume
3) Ask permission
before touching
4) ‘No’
means ‘No’. Accept it gracefully. No one pleases everybody. And never think that you know more about what
she wants than she does. If she or her husband says "No", then
that’s exactly what they mean, don’t question "Why".
It's not open for discussion. If they have to tell you twice, then you
are no longer welcome at Cinsual and you can consider your membership
withdrawn.
5) If you’re
unsure
about proper procedures or what’s allowed, Ask.
6) Most people in
the club have a partner, include them in your conversation when appropriate.
7) Mind your manners. Be on your very best behavior.
8) Pay attention
to nonverbal signals, both positive & negative. Body language speaks much louder than actual
words. Act accordingly.
9) When talking to
other people in the club that you are interested in, make sure you understand their personal rules
and boundaries. Every one is different.
10) Admission to
the club DOES NOT guarantee that you will have sex, but only that you will be admitted to the club.
No one owes you anything and you shouldn’t expect anything from anyone.
11) If you have a
problem with someone at the club, PLEASE tell the management and let them handle it,
not you. Never create or contribute to a "scene".
12) If you’re
new and have additional questions about the club or the lifestyle, ask to speak to one
of the regular member couples. They will be happy to answer any questions
you might have. It's also a great
way to start a conversation!
13) Class and style
will get you much further than pushiness, arrogance or macho crass behavior.
14) Be aware of how
much you drink. No one is attracted to or impressed with, or wants to be around a drunk.
This is a social club, NOT a drinking club.
15) Never put on
a towel before 11:00. Wait for couple you’re interested in, to puts their towels on first.
If you put on a towel and approach a couple or lady that is fully dressed,
you might as well leave your testicles in your car because you won't need
them here.
16) Never go on the
"Couples Only" side of the playroom without being with a lady or
a couple, & never claim, "I didn't know this was the couples
only side".
17) No male nudity
is allowed in the dining room or common social areas.
18) Always dispose
of used condoms in the trash. Yes this mean that when you are through with it you
must carry it with you to a trash can. Never leave it where you took it
off or you will be invited to leave and not come back. (and you might
end up wearing its contents on your head.)
If you follow these
guidelines, you should have a great time and make lots
of new sexy friends. And if you REALLY want to be a "Classy Guy"
and have the greatest success meeting couples and having fun, then you
will click this link to see the rules for couples. Then you will also
know what they are thinking and will help you better understand them.
Cinsual
wishes to thank and acknowledge the following couple for their contributions
to this guide for single men.
Special thanks to Barbi & Ken, from BlondeFlasher.com for writing this detailed explanation and granting permission for its use here. Barbi hosts the world-famous SexyPartyClub.com parties and this is from their personal experiences in the lifestyle and from their parties.
